There’s no room in my schedule to work on my . By the end of the day, I am exhausted from work and other commitments and my brain is mush. All I can do is veg out in front of the TV.

Every day I have the ridiculous pleasure of working with individuals who are courageous enough to say, “Yes” to the design of their right and perfect life. As with all transformation there is a journey and it involves the reconnecting with who and what you are, setting intentions for what you want manifested, discovering your values, gifts, skills and talents, uncovering your priorities and creating long and short term goals, as well as immediate plans of action. You are on FIRE! This is going to be fabulous! You know what you want, and you are energized by the possibilities that lie ahead.

BUT… then the phone rings or you receive an email asking for you to participate in an event, help with a project, or go out for dinner or to the movies. You don’t want to disappoint. These individuals have helped you out in the past. It’s been so long since you and your friends have hung out and you’re afraid if you say no again they’ll either get upset and/or stop asking all together. A week goes by, two weeks go by, a month goes by and you review the goals you set for yourself and the realization of your vision. You’re disappointed that there has been little to no progress. Maybe I’m not meant to have this in my life. No, absolutely not. You have just been giving away the power of your “Yes”.

How often are you saying “Yes” when you really want to say “No”?

I’ve yet to have anyone answer, honestly, that they always say “Yes” when they mean “Yes” and “No” when they mean “No”. So many of us are people pleasers, and then again some of us thrive on the drama in someone else’s life and see it as a convenient distraction.

• I can’t say no.
• I’ll feel guilty if I don’t help.
• Their stuff is WAY more important than mine and they really need me.
• It’s just saying yes to one brunch.
• It’s important for me to give back and volunteer my time.
• Oh it will be easier if I just do it.

And while we are saying “Yes” to things we really don’t want to do, whether we are conscious of it or not, we grow resentment, feel drained, and at some point complain because there’s never any time for me. At some point, we need to hold ourselves accountable for the decisions we are making instead of looking to the other person. It’s time to become aware to the truth about choice…we all have the power of choice. How many times have you heard yourself saying, “I don’t have a choice.”? But you do have a choice. We all have a choice. The reality is that sometimes the choices we need to make are just plain hard. There’s no way of getting around it. If you are centered in the knowing that your dreams, goals and ideas deserve to be realized than you will be making tough choices.

The process of learning to say “No” will be a part of your journey. This is not to say that you should say no to everyone or every thing. Volunteering is wonderful! However, take a look to see if you have overcommitted yourself. Helping out a friend is fabulous! However, take a look at your schedule to what other obligations you’ve agreed to do. Going out to dinner with friends is a treat! However, review your calendar and see if you’ve said yes seven nights in a row.

When you take the time to review where and how you spend your time, you’ll begin to see a pattern. Compare the activities you’ve done with YOUR priority list. Has anything on your list that focuses on what you want created in and for your life been addressed?

1. Spend time with your priority list weekly.

Are these indeed YOUR priorities and are they aligned with your values?

2. Weekly, compare your priority list with how you spent your time.

What did you say “Yes” to that wasn’t a priority?
What did you say “Yes” to that you didn’t want to do?

3. Discover your strengths.

What days of the week and times of the day are you the most productive? How can you incorporate your priority list during these times?

4. Is it possible for you to integrate items from your priority list while saying, “Yes” to others?

Is there an experience that can be shared which allows you the best of both worlds?

5. Practice saying No.

During the beginning stages of learning to say “No” when we mean “No”, we overcompensate and over explain. We want the person(s) to understand and validate our position. This does get easier and we feel less inclined to justify our answer with time.

It’s time to take back the power of your “Yes”! Are you ready?

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Humanity’s misfortune is when we don’t realize the very gifts we are! We don’t serve the rest of the world or ourselves by playing small. Live your life big! Own your truth! We must embrace the knowing that we deserve to live a life we love, one that supports who and what we are. We need to be willing to say, ‘Yes! I choose me!’
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© 2011 Michele Mattia. All Rights Reserved.
Michele, a nationally recognized speaker on both tv and radio, is an Inspirational Speaker, Best Selling Author, Life Design Coach, New Thought Leader and Creative Strategist. During a silent retreat five years ago, she asked herself the question: “What would I do right now if I wasn’t worried about the “how”?” What manifested next was nothing short of extraordinary! Specializing in Life Design, Michele’s mission is to inspire, support and co-create all possibilities her clients and audiences are courageous enough to demand. She motivates others to claim their unique gifts and talents, while owning that they deserve to create a dynamic and delicious life. Michele believes we must embrace the knowing that we deserve to live a life we love, one that supports who and what we are. We need to be willing to say, “Yes! I choose me!” To learn more about Michele and receive Michele’s Daily Dash, an empowering eZine, go to www.MicheleMattia.com