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Three years ago, I was at the tail end of a transition in my life. Although my marriage had ended two years prior, there was still the daunting task of paperwork to “officially” end it. I had successfully re-financed the mortgage so it was now in my name only, something I celebrated with great pride over some Keith Urban music and a bottle of wine. I was still waiting for the piece of paper announcing that the divorce was final, and while some need the 8×11 packet in order to move forward, I had felt complete for sometime. As I looked around the apartment I loved and had decorated with rich earth colors, soft fabrics and warm textures, I saw clutter and felt, understandably so, old memories fixed into the furnishings and art. Up until that point, I NEVER threw anything away, which is quite a feat when living in a NYC apartment where square inches, let alone square feet, matter. Something inside of me stirred and I was led to my hallway closet where I brought out boxes and boxes of letters, mail, film negatives, photos and receipts. While going through each box, I was reconnected with past events and experiences, much of which I had previously pushed deep down inside of myself as a way of moving forward. I began to feel lighter as I looked upon these memories and realized how much I had grown from them, even though they pained me during the time. Two weeks before my urge to go through the past, I had purchased a box of giant Hefty bags while at the grocery store. Even as I put them in the basket, I was asking myself why I needed them because I always reuse the grocery bags. The doubt was ignored, the purchase made and the box was stored under my kitchen sink. Sitting in the middle of my living room floor amongst piles of papers I had made peace with, I knew why those large bags were purchased. Before I realized it, I had filled five bags and was taking them to the basement to be carried out to the dumpster.

My de-clutter project didn’t end with those boxes and the one closet, I began to go through clothes and created piles for donation, I pulled art from my walls that I would give to friends who had complimented the paintings and photography for some time, and I pulled from my shelves books that I hadn’t looked at since I read them and were ready to be donated to libraries. When I completed each section of my apartment, I felt renewed energy ~ as if I was standing there for the first time. The view of Central Park from my 18th floor window appeared richer than I had remembered, and my apartment physically felt larger. I was breathing in creative energy, exhaling blocks and obstacles and releasing old resentments. Not only did my writing become a prominent part of my life again, but also within a month of my clearing project, I met the love of my life. I still remember the first time he looked in my hallway closet to hang his coat. There were built in shelves to the left of the tension rod that were empty. Jim turned to me, smiled and said, “It looks like there’s some space to be filled.” Weeks later, it turned into his space to store his wallet, keys, and watch when he stayed over.

Just last week I read a fantastic analogy regarding mental and physical clutter. Imagine you are standing in the middle of a beach that stretches for miles. You have all of this uninterrupted space for which to think and create. Now imagine three tour buses have shown up and your sandy, creative canvas is now peppered with beach chairs, towels, umbrellas and coolers. Your blank canvas has been replaced with obstacles and your freethinking and flow of energy has been blocked. You have small sections where you can create small things and tiny corners where you can have tiny thoughts. But we aren’t meant to live and accept a world of small and tiny, we are meant to dream with outstretched minds and hearts.

As I mentioned yesterday, the first days of 2010 brought a grand kitchen-clearing project. The result has been this yearning to cook and a focus on the healthy foods entering my cupboards and refrigerator. Already Jim and I have cooked several romantic meals together and slowed down to enjoy the peacefulness and love filled moments we’ve been wanting. Who knew de-cluttering one room would connect and support our desire for balance? Once this next weekend is behind me, my next clearing project will be my home office where creative magic happens. Like a child on their way to Walt Disney World for the first time, I can’t wait to see what shows up next!

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